Archive for the ‘Moss’ Category

Google Translate

October 13, 2010
Reasons I have used Google Translate: Looking for comical mistranslations (50%); Trying to teach myself a foreign language using statistical methods (30%); Listening to the German speech synth (5%); Attempting to figure out how Google parses language (10%); Learning to say "my hovercraft is full of eels" in every language (5%); Translating a foreign webpage into English (0%)

It would be interesting if Google kept track of how many of its translation queries are for "My hovercraft is full of eels."

A switch must have flipped in my brain last night because I woke up with three comic ideas in my head.  Guess it’s time to start drawing again.  Or flying south, I’m not sure which.



July 22, 2010
Hal: "Weird! my computer's only letting me open files from the command line!  I think I might have a virus." Leeroy: "Is it... TERMINAL? Ahahaha" Hal: "Go away before I bash you."

I may have just written a very nerdy comic.

There Are Several Kinds Of Oil

July 19, 2010
Hal: "What are you doing, Jenkins?" Jenkins: "Oh hey, Hal, I was just pouring oil on myself in solidarity with my friends in the Gulf." Hal: "This is canola oil." Jenkins: "Oh.  So?" Hal: "So in your attempt to protest the destructive hubris of humanity, you have inadvertently rendered yourself delicious." Jenkins: "Pepper?"

Canola oil is significantly more delicious than crude.

Hourly Comics 1

July 11, 2010

8:00 AM: Bartholemew: "What is your take on illegal immigration?" Leeroy: "Everyone should have equal rights as citizens of the Internet." 9:00 AM: Leeroy: "Grading math for my summer job.  These middle-schoolers are teaching me some good geometry." 10:00 AM: Computer: "Hey, it's Basil.  Want to join my band?" Hal: "/type YES!  Do you need a kazooist?"11:00 AM: Hal: "I am swearing off linguistic prescriptivism!  From now on, if you can communicate, that's good enough for me!" Leeroy: "That's generous of you!" Hal: "Not really.  I only did it to justify learning Na'vi." 1:00 PM Bartholemew: "My pencil jar is full of dust!  What the heck, pencil jar?"2:00 PM: Bartholemew: "Want to take a hike?" Hal: "Anything that requires sunscreen is pure masochism." Bartholemew: "So, no?" Hal: "Nah, I'll come.  I need something to blog about." Hal: "Hey, look, some humans." Bartholemew: "Act like wildlife, maybe they'll feed us."4:00 PM: Jenkins: "Am I hungry or tired? I can't tell.  I feel tired so I'm probably thirsty."

Father’s Day 2010

July 10, 2010
Leeroy: "I was going to draw you something for a Father's Day card, but then I realized that all images are symbols, a level of abstraction removed from reality, and therefore an inadequate substitute for it." Bartholemew: "Uh huh..." Leeroy: "So here's a hug." Bartholemew: "I see the time you spend on esoteric philosophy is not entirely wasted."

Can it be?  Has Moss actually returned to life?

I can’t promise to update MWF this summer because I actually have a day job, but I’ll post when I have time.  The reason there haven’t been updates recently is that I’ve been writing a play, which may one day be posted on this site.  So stay tuned.  I haven’t given up yet.

Classy Friday

May 14, 2010
Moss Comic #whatever: Drake: "BRAAAAP" Drake: "Mmm...whipped cream.  Burps that taste like what I ate remind me that the universe is internally consistent."

Drake finds wonder in the little things.

Maslow’s Hierarchy

May 12, 2010
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Physiological Safety Love/Belonging Esteem Self-actualization [Arrow pointing into self-actualization: "Talking about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs"

We live in a situation of privilege

Street People

May 2, 2010
Bartholemew: "Uh-oh... street people. I bet they're asking for money." Drake: "Don't make eye contact don't make eye contact" "Hey, he's not making eye contact! After him!" Bartholemew and Drake: "Crap! Run!" "Just because you can't see us doesn't mean we don't exist!!!" Surprise ending: The street people are actually ghosts. "I suppose that last statement could be interpreted multiple ways."

This is just silly.

Platypus, Pt. 5

April 25, 2010
Leeroy: "Basil! Long time no see.  What brings you here?" Basil: "There's this cute guy platypus who's been hanging out here recently..." Leeroy: "Are you going to ask him out?" Basil: "No..." Leeroy: "Why?!" Basil: "That is like saying: "I don't know you but I think we could be great friends and have a unique relationship.  The reason I think this is because you are hot." Yeah, no."


April 15, 2010
Leeroy: "In certain sitcoms, everyone acts normally, except for the main character!" Hal: "He (usually male) is constantly breaking social conventions - doing and saying ridiculous things! And while it's funny to watch, things don't often turn out well for him!" Leeroy: "Indeed.  So by showing people stepping out of bounds, these shows are actually saying STAY IN LINE.  This has been another episode of subtle propaganda embedded in comics I mean television shows."

I notice that these captions are usually funny. MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING RIGHT NOW.