Prop 8 and Left-Handed People

Perry v. Schwarzenegger is going to hit the federal courts soon, which could either mean the overturn of Prop 8, or another crushing failure. So I thought I’d talk a bit about… left-handed people.

Don’t laugh. I am dead serious here. Left-handed people are being discriminated against. The society we inhabit has hundreds of features designed with the right-hander in mind, features that prove suboptimal for left-handers. We write English from left to right, forcing lefties to drag their hands through wet ink or twist the page around. Those silly flip-up desks that they give you in college lecture halls only really work for right-handed people. Right-handers will probably never know the frustration of having to wield scissors or sharpen a pencil with their nondominant hands. We drive on the right, in part because we want the stickshift to be by the driver’s right hand, in part because historically the coachman held the whip in his right hand. It’s difficult to find lefty computer mice, and the left click is the primary interface method because the left mouse button sits beneath a right-handed user’s index finger. All books except manga are designed for right-handed people.

Now of course, discrimination against gays is much more serious, and oftentimes more intentional, than discrimination against lefties. But it hasn’t always been this way. In the middle ages, and even more recently, left-handedness was considered diabolical, and left-handed children are still sometimes encouraged by parents to be more right-handed, for religious, cultural, or practical reasons.

There are some interesting parallels to be drawn between handedness and sexual orientation. Scientists aren’t sure what causes handedness – there are probably genetic factors, because people seem so strongly to prefer one hand over the other, but genetic factors are probably not the whole picture. Handedness may also be affected by conditions in the womb. Or maybe some babies are born ambidextrous but learn to be right-handed by living in a strongly right-biased society.

Handedness, like sexuality, is a spectrum. Some people are hopeless at doing tasks with their nondominant hand, while others are pretty coordinated. Some people are totally ambidextrous. You can find people anywhere on the handedness spectrum from left to right. But lefties are in the minority, making up about 10% of the population.

Now here’s the parallel I want to draw with the Prop 8 battle. If there were a campaign to ban the sale of left-handed scissors and desks, no one would take it seriously and it would be shot down in a moment. What arguments could be made for such a ridiculous law? “Lefties live in a right-handed society and they should conform or get out.” “Handedness isn’t inborn, it’s a choice.” “Using your left hand is sinful.” These all sound insane. The first argument, for conformity, shouldn’t ever be made in a society that claims to protect individuality and personal freedom. As for the second – who would ever choose to be left-handed in a world that is so strongly right-biased? The third is obviously based on superstition and couldn’t be taken seriously by anyone with half a functioning brain.

And yet, these are exactly the types of arguments that are made in favor of Prop 8 and the ban on gay marriage. The most common argument for Prop 8 – the argument for the equality of a restricted definition of marriage – basically goes: “everyone has an equal right to use right-handed scissors if they so choose. We don’t need lefty scissors.”

I hope everyone can see how ridiculous this is.

And to those who say that gay marriage shouldn’t be allowed because homosexuality is a choice (the only other argument that is even worth countering) – I’m not even going to get into how ignorant and condescending it is to make this argument. Other people have already pointed this out. My counterargument is:

So what?

Plenty of other things are choices. The choice to state your political affiliation and vote however you choose. The choice to watch whatever TV you choose to watch, or not watch TV at all. The choice to like noise music, or 90s rap, even though nobody likes those things. Nobody gets upset about these choices, and guess why?

They’re not in the Bible, that’s why. And they don’t have much to do with sex. And the debate over gay marriage is not about choice, or what the right to get married actually means. It’s about religion, and sex, and prejudice.

I’m not saying you don’t have a right to your opinion. Everyone has a right to his or her opinion. But I am sick of gay marriage opponents pretending they have logic on their side, and throwing up barricades and straw men and doublespeak and false logic that I can break with my little finger. If you don’t like gay marriage, just stand up and shout “I am a bigot, and I have no regard for science or logic or any morality that isn’t in my holy book.” It’s time to come out of the closet.

And if you’re ashamed to come out as a bigot, maybe you should rethink your views.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Jesus Week, Part 2

HAHA you thought I was going to make an anthropophagy joke. Well you were WRONG.

Um…I guess the only thing resembling a punchline is in the first panel.  I promise the rest of the comic is a setup for better things to come.

Jesus Week Kickoff

The Algorithm Consistently Finds Jesus

It’s an obscure reference to an obscure reference, but Google has all the answers. Also, they invented the Algorithm.

Site Updates: Search and Random

O HAI

I’ve just added two awesome new features to the Moss site.  Thanks to WordPress’s updates to the way image metadata is indexed, I’ve been able to make the text of every comic fully searchable from the sidebar. —>

So now if you want to find all the comics about corpses or fish or Hal, you can.

I also made every comic into a link that, using sufficiently advanced magic, will take you to a random post.  Don’t worry, it’s actually only pseudo-random, and no kittehs will be harmed by decaying nuclei or anything like that.

(I hope no kittehs will be harmed.  I don’t actually know how WordPress’s randomization algorithm works.)

Turkey, Part 2

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Okay, so it’s an old album.  But I have to review it anyway.

First of all, the third track, “The Middle” seems to have been so deeply engrained in American pop culture that every time I play this album for someone, they go, “Oh, Jimmy Eat World – I guess I DO know them!”  But while the song is certainly catchy, it’s actually not my favorite on the album.  So if all you have is the single, you’re missing out.

There are a few things in music that I am a real sucker for.  One is certain singers’ ability to make their voice crack to a higher register – and hit an actual note.  The lead vocalist, Jim Adkins, has amazing vocal control, and his voice gives the songs a throat-clenching emotional immediacy.  The harmonies are also fabulous, and not as obvious or overdone as those of, say, Bad Religion.

Jimmy Eat World also isn’t afraid to pack lots of variety into an album.  While they have a few standard song types – they’ll often contrast poppy, upbeat songs with darker, angst-laced ones – they’re quite effective, and they almost never fall into the rut of having melodies that sound the same.  They don’t often vary the instrumentation – replacing electric guitars with an acoustic or adding some subtle synth backing or piano is about all they do – but the melodies and lyrics are original and varied enough that experimenting too much with instrumentation would probably destroy the album’s cohesion.

But the real reason I feel like I have to write this review is that I have to restrain myself from giving just about every song on this album five stars in my iTunes library.  While “The Middle” might have the most obvious single potential, there isn’t a dull moment on the entire album.

That being said, I feel like I have to say something critical, and it’s this: the album doesn’t really have an arc, and since every song tries to stand out, none of them does. It’s like a roller coaster that accelerates you to an exhilarating speed, makes lots of fast turns, and drops you off where you started – without really ever climbing a hill to let you see the big picture. But in this age of shuffled songs, maybe it doesn’t matter. The album’s well worth buying for what it is – eleven supremely great tracks.

Turkey, Part 1

ooh! Are they DINOSAUR EGGS??

Facebeak

NO I'M NOT CHANGING IT BACK. EVER. SO THERE.

God of Cookie